Just a Random Bitchfest

I suppose I should write something witty, but I can't think of anything thanks to all this brain fog. I should be working on my church and state essay, but I'm a glutton for punishment so I am procrastinating. I am home because my neck and back hurt so bad I could barely function as... Continue Reading →

Breakfast Thoughts

Feeling: done, rage, insecure, lost, alone, desperate, fucked, so fucked, apathetic Breakfast thoughts: Just do it so you can be alone. That's the whole point, isn't it? To be alone and die? Nobody knows Nobody cares You're fucking fat Stop yelling at me! Just fucking Eat! Complete. You fucking cow. I hate you so much.... Continue Reading →

Do NOT Drown

Take a step back, Look around, Don't allow yourself to drown. It occurs to me that I am shutting down.  A little more each day I go more and more numb.  I retreat within myself. It began with the self harm on my leg.  No one knows, no documentation. Continued with the caffeine. And sneaking... Continue Reading →

Why did I Open My Mouth?

Disorderedly took pamprin (diuretics) Walked in circles in the reception area. Went up the stairs once. Shadow even looked fat today. Stomach sticks out. I feel so gross. Didn't complete breakfast (90%). --Thought it would be less. Hips and feet and ankles hurt. Like really bad. Took flexural & ibuprofen & pamprin, but it's not... Continue Reading →

My Favorite Words

I lie through my teeth, my actions, my behaviors EVERY DAY. So, hows it going? I'm fine.  Doing okay. A little apathetic, but other than that, I'm good. Completing all my meals. No behaviors; well, besides pace. Thoughts give me away every time... Thoughts at a 9, feeling disinterested apathetic. My favorite Words. Apathetic. Self... Continue Reading →

Mirror Mirror On The Wall….

.....When will I be the fairest of them all?? Mirror Mirror, Tell me what I want to see, The exact illusion of my delusion. Show me who I am, but let it be me; The me I see, not the reality. ©Kelsi M. Meireis Please excuse the randomness of this post as I haven't previously... Continue Reading →

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