Repercussions of a Manic Episode

I am currently dealing with the repercussions of an extremely manic episode.  I have fallen into depression, into temptation, the devil's trap; said many things I don't mean--or don't want to  mean, placed myself in harm's way.  Stress overload, anxiety at every turn and yet I run for the thrill of it.  I am  afraid... Continue Reading →

Black Mania

****TRIGGER WARNING**** Been battling this disease for five years now and I have never heard the term "Black Mania" until today. The last 9 days have been progressively getting worse for me.  Super busy at work with harvest.  13.5 hour work days for the last week and a half, 10-12 hour work days the week... Continue Reading →

The Thoughts of a Manic

This is my explanation of my brain on mania: Such intricate details being garbled and washed away by the shear mass of thoughts flooding my mind. I thought it was getting better, but yesterday was hard for me. I could have cut more, but stupid stuff like the fear of someone asking me about it... Continue Reading →


My mind will not quiet. I cannot hear what anyone says to me. My husband is mad because I haven't listened to him all night. I sat down to write and this is what it looks like. This is what it says: "How to stop the raging monster, How to quiet that which won't shut... Continue Reading →


Tears are on the threshold.One word.  That's all it takes.I F*$#ing hate today.I don't know why.I don't care.My eyes hurt from holding back the tears.What do I have to cry for?Everything is F*&#ing fine and dandy.Normal. 

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