Another Good Day

I want another good day. Full of laughs, smiles, and prayers. Full of hope for the future.... and for the now. Full of LOVE for Christ, Salvation, Resurrection, REDEMPTION... For living fully with Christ in this life. Don't judge any other denomination for their "weird rituals" For they are doing the best with what they've... Continue Reading →

That’s all I knew

I am not a fool I know what this is Even if I believe it I’m not ready to say it out loud. I spent how long freeing myself from indoctrination. Believing that all others were wrong— Going to hell wrong, I refuse to believe that; I refuse to push my faith on anyone dead... Continue Reading →

Fuck that Shit

Feeling: despair, dread, hate, lost, annoyed, apathetic Got told 2X to go to cooking group.  Rather forcefully. So I went. Ate snack. Now exploring emotions.  NOT happy. If I tell the truth they'll take away my car. My Sunday mornings, ie. my freedom. I already feel so trapped.  So trapped. I'm so done. It's their... Continue Reading →

Apathetic Oxygen

While I realize that most of my posts of late are basically my treatment experience I wanted to say that I am glad to be able to share them.  Depressing, anxiety provoking, angst though they may be, these thoughts and experiences are real.  These are the things I experienced while at EDCare, a place that... Continue Reading →

Addition on top of Addition

Feeling: perplexed, detached, like hiding, disconnected, disgruntled, irritable Asked about Monday dinner off.  Primary said it's up to me because I have a lot of restoration work to do.  Should have asked my dietician instead. Asked dietician about "restoration work". She said my weight leveled off, so another addition is added. Said my metabolism is... Continue Reading →

Why did I Open My Mouth?

Disorderedly took pamprin (diuretics) Walked in circles in the reception area. Went up the stairs once. Shadow even looked fat today. Stomach sticks out. I feel so gross. Didn't complete breakfast (90%). --Thought it would be less. Hips and feet and ankles hurt. Like really bad. Took flexural & ibuprofen & pamprin, but it's not... Continue Reading →

Freedom and a Side of Coffee

Finally. I'm free. And it terrifies me. ...... "Your eating disorder will get loud." they said. "What are you going to do to not give in?" they asked. I'll be fine, I said. It's not going to get loud.  I have it ALL UNDER CONTROL. ....... I might have been wrong. They definitely weren't wrong.... Continue Reading →

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑