That’s all I knew

I am not a fool I know what this is Even if I believe it I’m not ready to say it out loud. I spent how long freeing myself from indoctrination. Believing that all others were wrong— Going to hell wrong, I refuse to believe that; I refuse to push my faith on anyone dead... Continue Reading →

Numb

Trigger Warning *****************I just want to fucking die. Kill. Myself. Over and out. Straight up. Too bad I don't believe in suicide. Too bad I'd rather live in perpetual torture. Too bad death is too easy of an out for me. Too bad ED says I must live. I just want to feel. All the... Continue Reading →

Life Perspective

Saw a homeless man walk by me today. Shuffling along, Lighter dangling in one hand. Pants holy and ripped to shreds Wearing a coat in unseasonable weather. And I thought, "Where does he come from? Where is he going?" And then I watched as he looked through a can of trash, Obviously hungry. And I... Continue Reading →

Don’t TElL

*****TRIGGER WARNING***** Not that I wanted to begin the year like this, but hey, to my brain, it's just another day.  I have been struggling with some temptations.  Pretty massive temptations.  The consequences thereof, I am not sure I could handle.  I have NOT given in yet, but the guilt and condemnation that prey upon... Continue Reading →

Red Lips Are A Dead Giveaway

  The other day I replaced my Facebook profile picture with one where I was wearing red lipstick.  Oh the lovely comments and likes I received!  It really was nice to hear affirmations about the things I sometimes doubt. However, I have noticed when I am feeling blue or down in the dumps one of... Continue Reading →

Alonenessness

Do you ever just want to be alone? Just left completely to yourself? I am...well, I was going to say struggling, but I am not sure it is actually a struggle...maybe grappling is the word.  I am grappling with the irritation of not being left alone.  I think over the last year of my life... Continue Reading →

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