There is Safety in Hiding

Decay @Kelsi M. Ozbun So it's been almost a year, again. I've been hiding, and living, but mostly hiding. Today I am hiding. The phone rings, three times now, I think, and I just look at it wondering what the other end of the line could possibly want with me. I am hiding at the... Continue Reading →

Numb

Trigger Warning *****************I just want to fucking die. Kill. Myself. Over and out. Straight up. Too bad I don't believe in suicide. Too bad I'd rather live in perpetual torture. Too bad death is too easy of an out for me. Too bad ED says I must live. I just want to feel. All the... Continue Reading →

Life Perspective

Saw a homeless man walk by me today. Shuffling along, Lighter dangling in one hand. Pants holy and ripped to shreds Wearing a coat in unseasonable weather. And I thought, "Where does he come from? Where is he going?" And then I watched as he looked through a can of trash, Obviously hungry. And I... Continue Reading →

Excuses

Not a great day mentally for me.  Better than last time, but still feeling overwhelmed and it seems worse today.  Just returned from the Food Show in Omaha, NE, and while there I contemplated getting a tat. Nothing big, just a simple one-liner that would remind me where I am and where I've come from.... Continue Reading →

Still Crazy.

******TRIGGER WARNING****** Thought I was getting better. Thought I was over the hump. Thought I was learning to live healthy. I was wrong. Mania is setting in again. I swear I fucking hate this day. So the happy go-lucky false mask falls away from my foul face and reveals the truth. The scars.  The ugly.... Continue Reading →

The Thoughts of a Manic

This is my explanation of my brain on mania: Such intricate details being garbled and washed away by the shear mass of thoughts flooding my mind. I thought it was getting better, but yesterday was hard for me. I could have cut more, but stupid stuff like the fear of someone asking me about it... Continue Reading →

The Joys of Alienation

As I scrolled through my facebook feed tonight I came across some adorable pictures of my new little nephew.... (PS...I have a Nephew! First boy in our family in like 18 years, literally...Born a week ago Monday).... Posted by my sister (the next eldest after me), who has already informed me that She is going... Continue Reading →

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