Another Good Day

I want another good day. Full of laughs, smiles, and prayers. Full of hope for the future.... and for the now. Full of LOVE for Christ, Salvation, Resurrection, REDEMPTION... For living fully with Christ in this life. Don't judge any other denomination for their "weird rituals" For they are doing the best with what they've... Continue Reading →

That’s all I knew

I am not a fool I know what this is Even if I believe it I’m not ready to say it out loud. I spent how long freeing myself from indoctrination. Believing that all others were wrong— Going to hell wrong, I refuse to believe that; I refuse to push my faith on anyone dead... Continue Reading →

I’m Fucked

Ate a lot yesterday No compensation Today the scale shows I gained 4lbs How am I supposed to eat today knowing this? Going with mother in law to garden city today which means lunch out. Fuck me. I can't I need to fast I went from needing to lose 2.5lbs to needing to lose 6.5lbs... Continue Reading →

Just a Random Bitchfest

I suppose I should write something witty, but I can't think of anything thanks to all this brain fog. I should be working on my church and state essay, but I'm a glutton for punishment so I am procrastinating. I am home because my neck and back hurt so bad I could barely function as... Continue Reading →

Breakfast Thoughts

Feeling: done, rage, insecure, lost, alone, desperate, fucked, so fucked, apathetic Breakfast thoughts: Just do it so you can be alone. That's the whole point, isn't it? To be alone and die? Nobody knows Nobody cares You're fucking fat Stop yelling at me! Just fucking Eat! Complete. You fucking cow. I hate you so much.... Continue Reading →

Addition on top of Addition

Feeling: perplexed, detached, like hiding, disconnected, disgruntled, irritable Asked about Monday dinner off.  Primary said it's up to me because I have a lot of restoration work to do.  Should have asked my dietician instead. Asked dietician about "restoration work". She said my weight leveled off, so another addition is added. Said my metabolism is... Continue Reading →

Protection

Feeling:  withdrawn, pissed off, irritable, aggravated, disconnected Jules leaves today.  What am I going to do with myself?  Withdraw, obviously.  Spend my nights alone and in my head. Can't wait. Realizing how much I avoid, hide, deny (?) so I don't get hurt. Is that the reason I hate how my husband treats me? Because... Continue Reading →

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