Don’t TElL

*****TRIGGER WARNING***** Not that I wanted to begin the year like this, but hey, to my brain, it's just another day.  I have been struggling with some temptations.  Pretty massive temptations.  The consequences thereof, I am not sure I could handle.  I have NOT given in yet, but the guilt and condemnation that prey upon... Continue Reading →

Red Lips Are A Dead Giveaway

  The other day I replaced my Facebook profile picture with one where I was wearing red lipstick.  Oh the lovely comments and likes I received!  It really was nice to hear affirmations about the things I sometimes doubt. However, I have noticed when I am feeling blue or down in the dumps one of... Continue Reading →

Alonenessness

Do you ever just want to be alone? Just left completely to yourself? I am...well, I was going to say struggling, but I am not sure it is actually a struggle...maybe grappling is the word.  I am grappling with the irritation of not being left alone.  I think over the last year of my life... Continue Reading →

Spiral

   Day before yesterday I struggled with thoughts of self-harm all day long. Finally on my way home I stopped and poured my thoughts out to my best friend's cellphone.... Yesterday was bad too. Thoughts of the devil telling me to just come back to him because no one else understands, but he does. I... Continue Reading →

Downward

Pretty sure I'm hitting the downward path hard today. Physical symptoms of the depressive side of "Black Mania" setting in: My whole body hurts. My eyes burn. My back aches. My legs are tender and weak. I just feel like I've been hit by a truck. And my mood is significantly impaired. Two days ago... Continue Reading →

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