That’s all I knew

I am not a fool I know what this is Even if I believe it I’m not ready to say it out loud. I spent how long freeing myself from indoctrination. Believing that all others were wrong— Going to hell wrong, I refuse to believe that; I refuse to push my faith on anyone dead... Continue Reading →

fuck

Talked to the case manager today Sounds like PHP is not going to be an option as I was assessed as needing residential. Now looking into some place south (?) of St. Louis MO And getting no where fast. They asked if I am still losing weight. I was 117 when she assessed me two... Continue Reading →

Well, Apparently, Me

**TWIGGER WARNING** (FOR THE FAINT OF HEART)   I am FUCKING Miserable. I just ate 10 chicken nuggets and 5 fries after 2 apples (Which ED intended to be my supper) and I literally want to cry. But I can't. So I sit here with my brain swirling and fighting and conglomerating with all of... Continue Reading →

10/10 Don’t Recommend

Weighed myself last night and internally teared up. I had already decided to fast most of Saturday because I wasn't happy where I was, but I couldn't get out of eating at the wedding reception...believe me, I tried. So today I ate some breakfast and decided that was that. I'll just be miserable and fat,... Continue Reading →

What is it like?

Emptied Pond. Wrote 2 Posts. Weeded. Intentionally did not eat Then J came home and asked what I ate So I went to Wendys (400). Drinking hot tea and water. Did decent until I ate a PB&J (240) and a whoopie pie (94). Happy mood most of the day. Finished reading Wintergirls.  It was really good.... Continue Reading →

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