Voicing My Needs

Challenge lunch.  Hamburgers. Brain flip-flopped between restriction because it's a fear food and completion so I can leave. First Staffing. It went okay. I voiced my needs. OMGoodness, what?! I VOICED MY NEEDS! and then ran out of the room. Been struggling with dissociation All freaking day. Good session with P. Just keep being honest... Continue Reading →

My Favorite Words

I lie through my teeth, my actions, my behaviors EVERY DAY. So, hows it going? I'm fine.  Doing okay. A little apathetic, but other than that, I'm good. Completing all my meals. No behaviors; well, besides pace. Thoughts give me away every time... Thoughts at a 9, feeling disinterested apathetic. My favorite Words. Apathetic. Self... Continue Reading →

Life Perspective

Saw a homeless man walk by me today. Shuffling along, Lighter dangling in one hand. Pants holy and ripped to shreds Wearing a coat in unseasonable weather. And I thought, "Where does he come from? Where is he going?" And then I watched as he looked through a can of trash, Obviously hungry. And I... Continue Reading →

Disordered Eating Thoughts and Treatment “Fun”

Thoughts: Purge. Lax. Purge. Lax. Restrict. Purge. Wait. No lax until you're constipated. Make it miserable. Make you miserable. Completed 3 meals.  In a Row. Like some ducks that fucking need shot. Now they'll expect more. More intake. FUCK. Reznor keeps me from crying. Meals are triggering. Seeing other patients struggle.  Use behaviors. In front... Continue Reading →

So You Think You’re in Control….

So yesterday there was this awesome recipe on MyFitnessPal that I really wanted to try (don't judge my usage of said app...I'm not a religious user)...a veggie bowl.  I love vegetarian food and this looked yummy so I printed off the recipe and bought the needed ingredients to make it today.  I was almost excited... Continue Reading →

Gettin All Vampy

Soooooo I don't know about you, but I love vampire stories.... always have. If I could be any one undead horror story monster it would definitely be a vampire. Oh, and not the glittery, emo Rob and Kristen type, but the real, Bram Stoker stuff. Anyway, I am currently binge watching The Vampire Diaries on... Continue Reading →

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