fuck

Talked to the case manager today

Sounds like PHP is not going to be an option as I was assessed as needing residential.

Now looking into some place south (?) of St. Louis MO

And getting no where fast.

They asked if I am still losing weight.

I was 117 when she assessed me two months ago.

Now I’m 114-116 on any given day

So not the right direction she says

fuck

Fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck

I might as well lose all the weight I can if they are going to put me in a higher level of care
Might as well look like the typical anorexic
Bones, sharp edges, sad eyes, languid complexion

A shell of her former self

Of her former glory

of her former beauty

if she ever had it

cuz she doesn’t believe that she did

just a shell of nothingness

existing to please other people

to give into other people’s whims

I’m done

So

DONE

I have to lose weight now

IT isn’t even a well maybe anymore

I have to get down to the acceptable “Sick enough” weight

so I can deserve – get the treatment I need and wanted two months ago

fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck

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