At Least I Don’t Have to Gain Weight

2 MONTHS I’VE WAITED

2 Fucking MONTHS

for the insurance company and ERC to get their shit together and make a single case agreement so I can go to treatment and today,

TO-FUCKING-DAY

ERC calls to say that they cannot accept me as a patient because I have medicare as primary.

News to ME

FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
ALL OF THIS SHIT.

I’m done.
I don’t even want to go to treatment anymore.
Fuck THIS SHIT.

I’m going to start my next class and prepare for my kiddos end of school stuff and organize my home shit so I can be a good homemaker again

And live like I don’t have a million and one thoughts about food and weight and health and size and self harm and all that shit all the time.

I can’t go and that is that.
So I’ll do what I can.
Work on what I can.

Deny myself where I can.

At least I don’t have to gain fucking weight.

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