**First off, Credit to whoever made the above photo because I can’t find a name to associate with it so if you know who it belongs to please, email me so that I can give credit where credit is due**
What constitutes “pretty”?
I was at the dollar store the other day and an older lady passed by me and said, “You sure are a pretty lady”.
I replied with gratitude and went on with my shopping.
IT has made me think.
What makes me pretty?
Obviously, she was looking outward, she could not have known me any other way as we were strangers.
Is she saying my facial features are nice or that my body type is desirable?
Or do the fruits of the spirit permeate me enough to make others see something they like in me?
Do I have a kindly face, or humility about me?
Do I seem happy or nice or lovely?
I wish I could say for certain that it was definitely the fact that she saw kindness on my face, the humility in my spirit. That would be a witness I could live with.
My eating disorder brain said:
1. You are not pretty. Don’t believe her.
2. If you are pretty, it’s because of me.
3. Don’t be vain about yourself, you still have a ways to go.
4. No one as skeletal as you could ever be pretty.
5. I like your clavicles and hip bones, small wrists, dainty fingers, and the fact that when you stretch your ribcage shows.
6. I am obviously more important than anyone else.
7. Let’s get back to business.
8. Others may say you are pretty, but I’ll make you what you truly want to be….nonexistent.
9. Just remember that every bite you refrain from taking, every calorie you forfeit is bringing you one step closer to that blissful feeling… smallish, minute, wispy, almost transparent.