Feeling: withdrawn, pissed off, irritable, aggravated, disconnected
Jules leaves today. What am I going to do with myself? Withdraw, obviously. Spend my nights alone and in my head.
Realizing how much I avoid, hide, deny (?) so I don’t get hurt.
Is that the reason I hate how my husband treats me?
Because I can’t keep him from “hurting” me?
Everything is about protection:
Control to protect
Avoid to protect
Let go to protect
Look put together, act put together,
Be put together.
You’ll be fine.
I’ll be fine.
Day 28 of treatment.