My Favorite Words

I lie
through my teeth,
my actions,
my behaviors
EVERY DAY.

So, hows it going?
I’m fine.  Doing
okay.
A little apathetic,
but other than that,
I’m good.

Completing all my meals.
No behaviors; well, besides pace.

Thoughts give me away every time…

Thoughts at a 9, feeling
disinterested
apathetic.

My favorite Words.

Apathetic.

Self harmed after getting off the phone.
Scratched
And Scratched
And Scratched

And tore

Like a wild animal tearing apart its pray.

NIN playing in my head..
Headbanging
Scatching
Apathetic.

I’m torn.

Desire to purge looms
larger and LARGER
closer and Closer.

I can feel it in my throat.
Sitting, waiting for me to let it out.
Begging to come up.
To get out.
To get away.
To run
from it all

from health love forgiveness.

 

Day 4 of treatment.

Comments are closed.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: