It Was Never Me

I am done.

Done eating.
Done caring.
Done trying.

All I want is for that # on the scale to dive.

To numb out.

Pretend I’M FINE.

Be a better liar.

So no one asks,
So no one knows.

I can’t do anything right;
Nothing to please.

No matter how hard I try,
It always gets flipped upside down.
It always turns against me.

I am done yelling.
I’ll stop.

Be a quiet person,
Change.
Again.
Like I always have.

I’ll hide my cuts and bruises,
My pain and emotion.

I’ll turn over a whole new leaf,
If that means there will never be stuff thrown again.

I’m not the problem,
But I’ll change.

I’ve got broad shoulders;
I’ll take it all on.

And someday when I’m dead,
There will be no fault found with me
Because they will see….

…..it was never me.

2 thoughts on “It Was Never Me

  1. Have been enjoying seeing you post again! I always learn from your writings. Keep on keeping on! Love, Sandi

    Kelsi I tried to post this to your blog… can you see it? If not, I copied it here for you.

    Love, Sandi

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    1. Sandi,
      Thank you for your kind words! I am glad to be blogging again (it feels weird to say “blogging” lol). It gives me a sense of normalcy. It gives me a reason to write and I had pretty much forsaken that…among other things. And I am glad to hear from you. I feel like it has been ages since I’ve been in society. ❤️❤️❤️

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