I know I’m not a Mormon, but these thoughts can be applied to anyone who feels a little (or a LOT) out of place in their church/denomination/faith. Sometimes running from it isn’t the best answer to these awful feelings of insecurity and weariness. And if we run, we will find ourselves coming full circle, to the place where we began, to the place where God wants us.
I always loved being unique, it’s always been my favorite part of me… Until it isn’t someone else’s favorite part of me.. Then I didn’t like it so much. I wondered why I had to be so different, why I needed to standout so much, why couldn’t I just meld into my friends’ ideals, the Mennonite Church’s ideals. But I have come to the conclusion (or realization, a better word choice) that God made me just the way I am for a reason; for His reasons, His purposes, and in my trying to change, I am hindering Him from working in my life. I am saying to Him, “You didn’t make me right, Your way is wrong, I know better than You how I should be.”
And I think He made all things perfect…. Except apparently for me… How hypocritical is that?
So what to do with this info? Go back to the Mennos and accept that this is where He wants me, black sheep that I am? Begin again, excepting leave out the part where I desire their approval and try to fit in? Am I too aware of inconsistencies to do that? How will I keep myself from balking against their “Mennonitisms” and culture? How will I keep myself unique in there manner that God made me and release the need to be like somebody?
And on that note, why can’t I just be like me? We all have our trials, and learning to accept myself as I am is the one I am going through right now.
Check out the article that inspired these thoughts below: