Tis November 1st…already?! Already!! I can’t believe it. 2015 is almost behind me … You… All of us! Before we know it the holiday season will be upon us. I intend to make the most of it this year.
This month I am celebrating gratitude. Each day I am going to ask my children to name one thing they are each thankful for and I’m going to post something I’m thankful for… I’ll try to mix it up with different media types and we will see where it goes!
Today when I asked the girls I received an immediate response: CANDY! From my 7 year old. She went trick-or-treating for the first time last night and I think she rather enjoyed it ;). Consequently, it was also my 9 year old’s first time trick-or-treating… She was excited that I gave her “witchy” makeup lol.
My eldest’s response was simply, “God”. She is thankful for our Lord and that makes my heart happy. The only one who had a bit of trouble thinking of something to be happy for was my 9 year old. She couldn’t choose one thing…. Her final answer was “family”, and “food”. It was almost like it was a hard question to answer.
Is it a hard question to answer? If the answer is “yes” then we are not spending enough time in gratitude. And that’s the aim of the month for me.
So today I am thankful for my husband. He is so caring and attentive in nonconventional ways that I forget to look at these acts as what they are: his expressions of love. The night before last I dreamt that I couldn’t find him and then someone told me he had died, and I was just lost. The feelings of emptiness and despair I felt were so real that I still had lingering effects after I woke up. And to make matters worse, when I did wake up he was not there… Of course, he had went to work, but it made the feelings so much more real.
It reminded me that things are so temporal here on earth. This morning one of the deacons read Paul’s words out of Philippians 3: 3-11. All of Paul’s achievements are recounted and he counted them as nothing because Christ is the only goal that keeps. The words struck me as I was further reminded that works do not save. I am redeemed through Christ and not through anything I could ever do; not even if I were nearly perfect in the law just as Paul was.
On another note, a little update about my mental health. I am doing much better now. At my most recent visit to the psychologist we discussed the episode in hindsight. He said he thinks I just pegged out as opposed to experiencing an actual depressive episode. I concur. I was going so fast and doing so much that my body just finally crashed and took my mind with it. The hope now is to find that middle ground and keep me there rather than going up again. Things are getting better, more “normal” at work and hopefully that will translate into normalcy at home. Thank you all for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. Well, until tomorrow!