Not a great day mentally for me. Better than last time, but still feeling overwhelmed and it seems worse today. Just returned from the Food Show in Omaha, NE, and while there I contemplated getting a tat. Nothing big, just a simple one-liner that would remind me where I am and where I’ve come from. I could not decide how or where I’d want it for sure so I decided against the idea for the time being.
Today I needed a reminder though, so I made my own. Right next to the scars of the culminating effects of my mental status when the overwhelming explodes and I can no longer handle it. It’s not my problem. Those are the results of when I make it my problem. They are very faded in the picture thankfully and nearly gone, but I’ll proudly wear them like a badge if they stay.
School is overwhelming and I am officially behind. Last week I turned in one question two days late and I still have to finish my assignment that was due yesterday. I could call my teacher and explain what’s going on, but I feel like if I did I’d just be whining and making excuses. It’s my life and stuff I deal with on a regular basis, but if I explain it that way then people think I’m just making excuses. Excuses for being late to work in the morning, excuses for not cooking or cleaning, for yelling at my family, my kids, my husband, for hiding out in seclusion every moment I get the chance.
It’s all excuses and I’m overwhelmed by it all.