To Get Away

They were mistaken, I never agreed to their ways, their “laws”.

All their idiocracies, their desperate attempts to control me only served to undo them. I tried to explain that in the beginning, but not one would listen.

I am the way I am for a reason.

There is no going back for them, but there is no going forward for me.  We are two separate entities fighting a losing battle against each other.

In vain they try to “help” me, to rescue me from myself.  One cannot rescue those that do not want to be.

I am my own worst enemy and my own best friend.  I will protect her at all costs.  I reserve the right to destroy myself, alone, with pleasure if I so choose.

Stop trying to take away my quiddity.  What they are trying to do will destroy me completely.

My very essence is being hammered into something I don’t even recognize anymore.

Scratching and gasping for freedom and air I try to get away.

 © Kelsi M. Meireis

5 thoughts on “To Get Away

  1. “Better hang onto yourself” as Bowie said. Or one of his personalities rather, Mr./Ms. Ziggy Stardust. Even in accepting help from others, you can’t let them change the essential you. Like you say, I am the way I am for a reason. Don’t try to fix me so much that I disappear. Great post!

    1. Thank you for your comment! I like the the way you worded the thought, “don’t try to fix me so much that I disappear”. I might have to send that in a mass text to everyone I know lol… :D

  2. Tacit consent is often assumed. But how can you deny consent, if it is assumed from the very start? Before you even had a chance to enter into a discussion, make a decision. How can we be expected to always simply accept bargains that have been made for us in many cases long before we were born?
    Thought provoking piece. Thank you.

    1. I agree. There are many people around me who would live exactly what you describe. They know no other way to live and Whilst I understand where their standpoint comes from, sometimes I think that what they expect of me at this point in life is unrealistic. They assume that I assume that tacit consent and I don’t think they even realize it.
      I am glad you liked it.
      It seems that “Just thoughts off the top of my head” tend to ring more true than those I consciously write and mull over. I wrote this in a matter of 3 or 4 minutes and didn’t really have to edit it much so it surprised me that you found it thought provoking, but in a good way :)
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

      1. Sometimes we can do some of our best writing when we don’t have time to analyse it :) This must’ve been one of those times. Thank you for getting back to me in this.

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