So I’m manic. Well at least hypomanic. And I
hate it love it. Really. During the day it’s great. I’m not getting much housework done, but hey! I have written more in the last few weeks than in the rest of the year combined. Anything Good? I don’t know. I think it is, but hell, I think I’m great right now.
I went for a stroll today, which turned into a 4 mile trek over a vast expanse of
land that doesn’t belong to me prairie till I was quite alone and loving it. Then I happened upon an old dugout or something and I got quite excited—but not excited enough to push open the door and have a look inside—until I discovered that I’m a bit of a coward.
I did walk up to and around it, but this image gives an accurate overview
Now it’s bedtime and I should be in bed reading or enjoying the quiet or both, but my manic ass has a major problem with night…. She hates it and I end up with paranoia and anxiety that borders on full blown panic.
So my heart is pounding, my stomach has a hole the size of Utah in it, my hands are shaky, and I don’t want to sit down, much less lie down. What to do? Post? Okay. If this is all crap when I’m done I apologize, but you’ll get a good view of how my brain is
n’t behaving today. Oh! On a much more positive (yet slightly unrational) note: anxiety curbs hunger! Yay me!
Not hungry=no eating=getting skinnier
For those who are concerned I did make myself drink a Slim Fast shake and eat a banana before I took my max amount of anxiety meds so I’m not reallyy starving myself, much.
Okay. Off to bed. Actually off to wash hands and brush teeth. Then off to bed.
Hopefully to not wake up in the middle of the night or dream of zombies….again.
Aahhh… I hear some NIN playing from the bedroom; that’s always calming….
Ps. Anyone liking the new look that I almost destroyed with one wrong click earlier today?!