So I have watched my stats over the months since I began this blog and I find it utterly fascinating that happy posts receive far less views, likes, and comments as compared to despairing ones. This thought popped into my head today whilst I was in the shower and I have not been able to stop thinking about it since.
It really says something about people in general, (which I already knew, so I guess it actually just reaffirmed it) and that is that people love drama. I am not placing blame or anything, just stating a fact that I am by no means exempt from. I catch myself being fascinated and perplexed by other people’s mental sufferings when I read about it.
There have been many people write on this topic and I’m sure nothing I say here is new (after all, wasn’t it King Solomon who penned ‘there is nothing new under the sun’? (See Ecclesiastes 1:9)). It’s just kinda sad that my blog is only interesting when my life is a mess. Okay, forget the kinda, it is absolutely depressing that sharing my happy, stable moments is not what people want to read about.
The thought has crossed my mind that maybe I should just give this up. Who am I kidding? I’m not dramatic enough to feed the masses all the time and I don’t want to be. I want to be healthy more often than not, I want to have a stable mentality, to be able to go out in public places with my family without worrying about every single little thing that could go wrong, and who wants to read about that?!
I guess I should just deal with my unhappy stats and keep on keeping on, but I like the attention. I like to know that I am reaching someone out there, that I am not just a dull little piece of cyberspace lost in the crook of a dark corner, stuffed with dust bunnies and mouse turds.
This has also made me think about my other blog, A Day On The Plains, which I hardly ever post on, but cannot bring myself to give up, because it represents a simpler time in my life to me. I need to do something with it, but what? It is on blogger and that makes me think that none of my readers here will follow on there, plus, you know, it’s not all, “I want to cut myself and to die”. Ever.
Really what I want to do is to consolidate the two into one, about me and my life, but then I think, well what kind of audience am I targeting then? No one, because I’m no king or queen or god to think my life deserves attention. Whereas, if I keep this about my life with mental illness and that one as my life as a homemaker, then at least I am targeting some kind of audience. Both are partially, but neither wholly, me and I think that is why I have a hard time keeping both up to date. This brings about poor stats and the whole cycle starts over again.
So do me a favor and take the poll: (I’ll love you forever…)