I Hate.


I hate the feeling it brings.

I hate how it incapacitates me more than drugs ever did.

I hate how I can’t control it.

I hate the “doe-in-headlights” look I get every time; it’s a dead give away.

I hate how I’m past the point of being able to hide it.

I REALLY hate the fact that it stems from fear.

I think, “Fear; such stupid fears I have!!”

When did it get this bad?

When did I lose control?

This is sooooo STUPID.  I hate how stupid it is.

It never used to be like this.

When did it change?

When did I change??

4 thoughts on “I Hate.

  1. These are the exact thoughts that were going through my head a month ago, I was lost and didn’t know how to cope, wanted things the way they were before. Panic attacks are the worst because you get lost in the moment and think the things you are panicking about are so real. This poem just says it all. :)

  2. Hey! I like your post. I often feel this way and have had fear and anxiety that I can’t control for many years. Know that you aren’t alone! There are others of us just like you. Check out my story on my blog if you’d like. :)

  3. Hi, I am so sorry your anxiety is causing you to feel overwhelmed and desperate, I am a worrier which causes insomnia. I am learning to turn off my brain but it takes practice.

    You might want to visit my encouragement blog some time.

    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement! I am determined to overcome this anxiety stuff eventually. I am working on learning how to turn off my brain, but it is way easier said than done lol. I really like your blog too. It is very encouraging and there is so much truth in it!

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