Falling Into God’s Arms

It’s not always bad.  My anxiety has been higher lately because I’m trudging through a valley right now.  But I can only go up from here right?!

I think I am on an even keel about 60% of the year, give or take a little.  During which time I love to be with my friends, sew, cook, and even clean.

My home is cleaner and my children happier.  I even try harder to please my Husband.  Bills are paid and life goes on rather normally.

It is very nice.  I get out and take walks; find the joy in the little things: sunsets, clouds, trees, the rustling of dried corn stalks, the smell of dirt,  the Kansas breeze.

And most importantly,  I have a relationship with God.

When I am sick that seems like it is always the first thing to go I am ashamed to say.  I know He’s there, waiting for me to lean on Him during my troubles, but I just don’t care.

Eventually though, I come to the point of no return.  I can no longer manage on my own.  I can’t do anything because I’m so panic stricken by everything.

It is then that I find myself feverishly praying for help and forgiveness and in His abundant love and mercy, He forgives me and I fall into His arms.

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